Its 5:03 am, 3/7/09.
I've been awake for two days now.
This in itself is no strange thing, not sleeping has become something of a habit for me.
In a handful of months, I plan to attend Uni, and as regulars may remember I'm assembling all my art to gain admission to said course. is been the forefront of my mind for a year no, to the increasing exclusion of everything else. I've slowly stopped seeing friends, the mod team I was a part of has slowed thanks to my non participation, my job even got in te way so much I went down to part time. On top of that I lost my girlfriend during all this.
I love what I do, seeing an idea on paper or the screen is the best feeling, and I so want it to be my life for the rest of it. But I'm losing alot of who I am, or was, to obtain it.
And this concerns me greatly. I worried that in order to get to where I wanna be, I'm gonna have to lose alot of what I hold dear.
And thats why I'm awake.
Its why I'm said here, sweating in this blistering heat, grinding my teeth, and wondering if its going to be worth it.